Have you had anyone "mess up" you life yet? You know what I mean when I use the word "mess up." It means someone has done something that affects your life and changes it against your will. I've had that experience twice in my lifetime. True, I survived but, to be honest, not without some resentment on my part.

You don't have to be a rocket scientist to know that when we are hurting it is as natural to feel bitterness and resentment as it is to bleed when we are cut. Fortunately, God has made us so that most bleeding, under normal circumstances, is staunched naturally. But putting a stop to resentment doesn't happen automatically.
Just as uncontrolled bleeding can be life-threatening, so untreated resentment is dangerous to our emotional and spiritual health.

The prescription to heal resentment is the gift of unconditional forgiveness. I use the word gift because forgiveness is something that only God can give. Jesus spoke many times about the imperative of forgiving those who have wronged us. In fact, He said that unless we forgive others we ourselves will not be forgiven (Matthew 6:15).

The question comes to mind, I can understand forgiving a person who is sorry for what they have done, but what if they are not sorry? Do I still have to forgive them? The answer is yes. And the reason is that we forgive others so we can get on with our lives. Have you ever heard the lament, I don't know how I can ever forgive that person for what they did to me. And then we discover that the alleged wrong occurred ten or even twenty years ago. Imagine, carrying that load of resentment for such a long time!

Another reason for granting unconditional forgiveness is that it frees us to do the right thing. A young person confessed to me that she knew she should forgive her mother for some offense, but she didn't want to because, she explained, "if I do, she'll think she's right, and she's wrong!" That person was not free to forgive and forget and mend broken relationships. She was still bitter against her mother. Harboring resentment is like taking poison and hoping that the other person dies.

Resentment is broad-spectrum. lt doesn't stay targeted on the one who has offended us. lt soon begins to do collateral damage. A grandmother I knew whose daughter had been strangled by the former son-in-law was so filled with resentment that she confided she was beginning to hate her grandson, who she had undertaken to raise. In an effort to help her resolve her resentment, I asked her if she ever prayed for her former son-in-law. She confessed she had given up praying. In fact, she feared that if she prayed for the murderer it would mean that she approved of what he had done. Of course, this is far from the truth. I reminded her of the words of Jesus when He prayed for His enemies, "Father, forgive them" (Luke 23:34). God Himself will see that justice is done in the end. As the Bible says, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord" (Hebrews 10:30).

Each year a friend of mine spends several weeks in a better living center. I was particularly interested in what he told me was part of the curriculum for guests. Of course, there is the wholesome food, the use of water inside and outside the body, miles of walking in the fresh air, and adequate rest. But most interesting to me was that the Center directs its guests to consider if there might be bitterness and resentment in their lives. If there is, they are taught what to do about it. One of the remedies is to write letters and make phone calls to those against whom they harbor strong feelings.

An obvious benefit of pure air, good nutrition, exercise, water, and adequate rest is to help keep the body in tip-top shape and encourage the immune system to fight off disease. But resentment can effectively short circuit these benefits, bringing not only emotional and spiritual consequences but physical consequences as well.

God offers general practice. His grace is sufficient for all our needs. One day a group of friends brought a man who had been sick for many years to Jesus. Surprisingly, Jesus said to him "Son, your sins are forgiven you" (Matthew 9:2). And immediately the man was healed.

Our physical, emotional, and spiritual health are inexorably linked. Health is more than meets the eye. One of the greatest threats to our over-all well-being is bitterness and resentment. Won't you take the time necessary to upgrade not only your physical but your emotional and spiritual health? Consider the matter of resentment; and if you find it in your life, ask God to give you the wonderful gift of forgiveness.