today i had a nice Christian dr... take the time to discuss my anxiety... which is intense (last time i dealt with the colon test my wife had Stage 4)... he and I both agreed that later in the year was a good time to get it done given my current emotional upheaval. He then shared with me that I needed to glorify God in how I am dealing with this... that God had prepared me for this moment... I was blown away on how compassionate he was, and how i needed the correction, he ended the session by praying with me. God actually took my dishonour,, and provided kind direction to me through my new doctor. He also told me to take time for myself to prepare for being alone so that i can cherish the memory of my wife as she waits for the resurrection. Was really powerful stuff.