Someone Asked Me A Question

[Richard OFfill]

This week end a minister's wife asked me what I thought about a teen age daughter that seems to beginning to rebel against the church. Of course the parents are both concerned. They wondered what attitude to take. They seemed to feel that the church would be watching.

[Larry Lyons]

I wouldn't presume to try to give an answer to the pastor of the parents not knowing the family or the specifics. I know that some parents in such situations seem primarily concerned about what the church thinks about them as Christian parents. Children can often sense that and it compounds the problem. 

[V. Hahn]

From my own perspectve, I would say a long, kind, and loving conversation with the daughter would be the first order of business. And just let the daughter do most of the talking.  Ask lots of questions, and don't try to contradict or "reason" with her.  Keep the lines of communication open.  Think and pray a lot before doing or saying anything further.  Just my 2 cents.

[Richard OFfill]

I was just looking around and found this tread. I am afraid that I tend to do more talking than listening.

[V. Hahn]

Me, too. 

[Tracyleej]

This week end a minister's wife asked me what I thought about a teen age daughter that seems to beginning to rebel against the church. Of course the parents are both concerned. They wondered what attitude to take. They seemed to feel that the church would be watching.

Wow! What an excellent question! Now for the not so excellent thought from a mom raising a 14, 12 and 7 year old. My husband and I have met our matches and having kids a little later in life realize that retirement won't come until Heaven

Listening and talking, listening and talking, listening and talking.....of the two it seems that listening is the best option.  It is a hard option for a mom who is a teacher and also talks alot. Ha! Ha!  God has more than one way of refining His children and raising teen daughters is one I realize He chose for  me.  I am learning to listen to my daughters and more to Him.  As far as reacting to things I see and hear from my daughters that don't jive with God's way or MY way, I have or should say am learning through trial and error that my daughters have to learn with coaching not refereeing (thank you to advice from wise creator of this website).  Sometimes the consequence of a decision is best  lesson learned.  Yes, my husband and I do sometimes have to be profound in our directing as consequence could hurt in ways that could be life threatened, but not usually. Also, being consistent in our parenting, always presenting a united front to our girls even if we disagree.  We try to keep our disagreements private.  It is hard because the devil attacking our family fiercely!  We don't always have an easy road, but, that we credit for choosing to bring our girls up in God's word. Do we let our girls sometimes do things we don't necessarily approve of, yes. Why? Because 9 out of 10 times they tell us they wish they hasn't done what they did or realize the friend they were around was not good for them.  Oh it is terribly hard as a mom to not want to hover but hovering creates adults that have not discovered Jesus Christ and claimed Salvation for themselves,  Salavation is an individual, singular experience, not a group parent driven or dictated experience.  The road less travelled has to be chosen by the individual and walked by that individual with whom he or she chooses to walk it with.  My prayer is my girls choose it and choose Jesus as their partner while I sit and coach quietly and prayerfully without ceasing.