Would anyone like to share some pointers on how to communicate better with a spouse? When there is a problem that must be addressed & you know from past experience that it will immediately get your loved one frustrated and angry to even mention the subject, how do you go about it?
This is a good topic. As I heard one person say, Samson wasn't the only one to kill with a Jawbone. So often marriages are killed by a lack of communication.
Willard Harley wrote an excellent book entitled His Needs, Her Needs: How to Affair Proof Your Marriage. Harley is a Christian but the book is not written from an overtly Christian perspective. His thesis is that men and women have different needs and communicate differently. Affairs occur when people are unable to meet their spouse's needs or are simply unaware of them. As an attorney who counsels with people considering divorce on a weekly basis, I have found this little book to be astonishingly accurate. My spouse and I have read it together and really enjoyed it. If you want to understand what your spouse is thinking and why, this book would be an excellent place to start.
I am not sure if this would work in your situation but...A pastor told me one time to write my husband a letter. Don't accuse just tell them how you feel about the situation. Don't make it a defensive letter either. Pray before you write it that you write just the right thing.
Clarifying...The books focus isn't on affairs & heading off a divorce, but on learning to understand each other, right? No way are we in the affair/divorce category, just major communication failure.