How Do You Raise a Faithful 2nd Gen. SDA ?

[colporteur]

It is my observation that the more generations there are in the church the more complacent and Laodicean the next generation tends to be. I see so many second generation SDAs that seem indifferent to the things their converted parents hold dear. I'm sure some of this is because the parents chose to convert whereas the children simply grew up;in the church therefore they did not necessarily make that choice. I am a convert to the faith and would not change that experience for anything even given all the mistakes I made not knowing truth and even with the baggage of the past.

My concern is raising children who have never known anything but the SDA church with all the unfortunate liabilities that that entails. There are advantages but it almost seems that there are as many disadvantages do to the condition of the church. I wish them to have my experience, in terms of fresh vibrant zeal, when they cannot do to necessary circumstances.

One thing I am certain of....it must happen in the home. It will not happen in the church with all the mixed messages and confusion.

[reaching4heaven]

One thing I am certain of....it must happen in the home. It will not happen in the church with all the mixed messages and confusion.

I agree. I think they need to be led into having personal study time until it beomes a habit. Filling their mind with scripture gives them something to dwell on and something God can speak to them through. I often contemplate if I am giving our child a firm foundation at his young age that will continue when he is old enough to make life-changing choices. It's a frighteneing thing when I have seen so many children grow up and go a seperate way. I also think we need to pray often for our children, that the Lord will open their minds to see His leading & guide them in their daily growth. Pray that they will experience God on a personal level. That's what made the difference for me - there is a God and He does answer my prayers & make Himself known to me.

[Raven]

It is my observation that the more generations there are in the church the more complacent and Laodicean the next generation tends to be. I see so many second generation SDAs that seem indifferent to the things their converted parents hold dear. I'm sure some of this is because the parents chose to convert whereas the children simply grew uo in teh church therefore they did not necessarily make that choice. I am a convert to the faith and would npot change that experience for anything even given all the mistakes I made not knowing truth and even with the baggage of the past.

My concern is raising children who have never known anything but the SDA church with all the unfortunate liabilites that thyat entails. There are advantages but it almost seems that there are as many disadvantages do to the condition of the church. I wish them to have my experience, in terms of fresh vibrant zeal, when they cannot do to necessary circumstances.

One thing I am certain of....it must happen in the home. It will not happen in the church with all the mixed messages and confusion.

We seem to be repeating the mistakes of the Jewish nation.  Joshua 24:31  And Israel served the LORD all the days of Joshua, and all the days of the elders that overlived Joshua, and which had known all the works of the LORD, that he had done for Israel.  That describes our situation somewhat.  Once the old pioneers died off things went downhill, and continue to do so. 

My situation was somewhat different from yours, cp, in that I'm sort of a 3rd or maybe 4th (not sure about the great grandparents) generation SDA.  But, my parents dropped out of the church when I was in grade school, and I didn't attend on a regular basis until I was a teenager.  My grandparents footed the bill to keep me in the SDA school, though, or who knows where I'd be today.  So, I didn't have parental training in spiritual things.  What I got was from my grandparents.  After sowing my share of wild oats, I studied Scripture on my own to see whether these things were so.  But I do give a lot of credit to the SDA schools I attended for giving me a good foundation in basic SDA beliefs.  I had good Bible teachers.

We are trying to give our kids a good foundation.  We have encouraged them to study on their own.  Home schooling has helped because we don't have to do damage control as much (i.e., the kids don't pick up all the bad behaviors and ideas of the other students).  And they have a better handle on where to go to find answers than I did at their age.

But the culture is continually dragging at our feet, as it always has.  I'm not sure it's necessarily worse than in the time of the judges.  The "pleasures of sin" were just as attractive to that generation as it is to ours.  The difference is, we have the Word, which we can read for ourselves; they had only their spiritual leaders; and when the leaders apostatized, the masses followed.  Unfortunately, we, as a church, look to our leaders too much, and don't do enough studying on our own; and so it is that so many are deceived.

As to how to raise a faithful 2nd gen. SDA--for one thing, don't repeat the errors of the previous generation.  It seems that the generation that preceded me, while they were good on rules and regulations, they were short on principles.  What I mean by that is that they did a good job of teaching the SDA doctrines and standards, but they didn't do so well in articulating the underlying principles upon which the standards are based.  One thing I know from being both a parent and a child, is that the question "why" is probably the most common question asked by a child.  When it comes to spiritual things we owe them answers; answers that are grounded in Scripture.  This is only one step in "training up a child in the way he should go," but it is an important one.

[lily-of-the-field]

As to how to raise a faithful 2nd gen. SDA--for one thing, don't repeat the errors of the previous generation.  It seems that the generation that preceded me, while they were good on rules and regulations, they were short on principles.  What I mean by that is that they did a good job of teaching the SDA doctrines and standards, but they didn't do so well in articulating the underlying principles upon which the standards are based.  One thing I know from being both a parent and a child, is that the question "why" is probably the most common question asked by a child.  When it comes to spiritual things we owe them answers; answers that are grounded in Scripture.  This is only one step in "training up a child in the way he should go," but it is an important one.

I appreciated your post, Raven.  Not sure what generation Adventist I am, either, as two of my grandparents became SDAs then left the church after a few years, and one grandmother became an SDA in later life.

My parents did their very best to raise their children for heaven.  Both parents were colporteurs for some years when I was young.  My siblings and I were raised in a strict home.  And today all of us are very faithful SDAs.  My parents did many things right, and I try to repeat those good things.  Foremost was their strict boundaries, things were black and white.  We were very mindful of keeping the Sabbath holy.  My parents taught us it was possible, with God's help, for us to embrace the public education system and be a witness to our teachers and fellow students.  And this we did, very much so.  We were raised with an awareness of our influence in a largely non-Christian community.  As a family we anticipated the Second Advent.  Our parents gave us a full sense of the sinfulness of sin before God, and our consciences were sensitive.  As a family we were allowed to have fun and play, had a good sense of humor.   And knowing how precious faithfulness to God meant to our parents later helped us to make right choices, figuring into the equation that it would break their hearts if we did such and such, even though it appeared grayish at the time.

Where they didn't do so well, was to speak more of Sister White than the Bible.  We usually got a Sister White quote instead of a biblical principle.  God's love was not conveyed in a meaningful sense, saw God in a more punitive light.

We all do our best as parents, and unfortunately that sometimes means that we don't get it quite as right as we desire to.

[reaching4heaven]

In teaching children to have a personal worship time, we started using Thy Word Creation tape & book sets at the age of 4...we should have started earlier! At the age of 4 he was singing Psalm 91. Yesterday as we weeded our son brought out the tape player and we sang along to the beatitudes. 

http://www.rtol.net/jonathanmeyer/thyword/aboutus.htm

There's a link at the top for children's products.

PS - Grandparents and neighbors, they make a better gift than race cars and dolls... 

[Raven]

   And knowing how precious faithfulness to God meant to our parents later helped us to make right choices, figuring into the equation that it would break their hearts if we did such and such, even though it appeared grayish at the time.

That was something that kept me from going too far off the deep end when I was young.  I didn't want to bring sorrow to my grandparents.  They were my spiritual mentors, if you will, and they were the ones who would have been most affected by my indiscretions.  It may not be the best reason for stayking in the church, but sometimes when you're young and foolish God will use any means at His disposal to keep you from going astray.

[lily-of-the-field]

It's built into children to want to please their parents.  And as you say, Raven, God uses this to keep children on the straight and narrow.

I am pretty sure I used those tapes when my children were infants, Reaching, and if we're thinking of the same ones, yes, they're excellent.

[El]

  One thing I know from being both a parent and a child, is that the question "why" is probably the most common question asked by a child.  When it comes to spiritual things we owe them answers; answers that are grounded in Scripture.  This is only one step in "training up a child in the way he should go," but it is an important one.

  This is another topic that is extremely interesting to me.  My children are grown but one of my daughter's husband died 18 years ago and left her with 3 girls, 5,3,and 2--Consequently they have lived with us a great deal of their lives.  I hope that we have been good examples for them.  Maybe we are sort of like the second generation to them.  And I have often wondered if the saying "Train up a child in the way he shall go and when he is old he will not depart from it" is a promise or just a proverb.  In other words, should a parent feel that if the child does not live up to 'the way he should go' that that particular child was not trained up in the way he should go?  Or is this a conditional promise?  And if so, conditional on what?   I know that sometimes we have to allow for the 'power of choice' that is given to each of us . And children are always going to ask why.  Maybe parents and grandparents need to be prepared ahead of time to know how and when to answer these questions.  How much responsibility is put upon the parents.!!  Just giving them a Christian education is not enough---if they have not had a firm foundation in their own home, all the Christian education that they may receive is really not top priority.  Can a student's SDA education cost so much that parents have little time to be there?   

[El]

I

Where they didn't do so well, was to speak more of Sister White than the Bible.  We usually got a Sister White quote instead of a biblical principle.  God's love was not conveyed in a meaningful sense, saw God in a more punitive light.

We all do our best as parents, and unfortunately that sometimes means that we don't get it quite as right as we desire to.

I think that it is true that we as SDA do use Sr. White as a battering ram to teach our children.  I fully believe that Sr. White was blessed by God.  But I do not think that she would have wanted her writings to be used ahead of the Bible.  She pointed us to the Bible.  That was her aim in life.  Many times we use her as top priority for proof of what we should be.  She did not want that.  I understand that after her last sermon given she started to sit down and then went back to the podium, picked up her Bible, and told the congregation that she only wanted to point the way to the Bible. 

[reaching4heaven]

I'm still reading through Education, and came upon this:

"She [Jochabed] sought to implant in his [Moses'] heart love and loyalty to God. And faithfully was the work accomplished. Those principles of truth that were the burden of his mother's teaching and the lesson of her life, no after influence could induce Moses to renounce."  p. 61

What caught my eye:

1. implant in the heart love & loyalty to God
2. it was done faithfully...continually. persistently. not fitfully.
3. it was the burden of the teaching; 1st and foremost
4. lesson of her life: she didn't only teach it, she lived it.
5. then the desired result was manifested

[K7]

When the dad and mom are real Christians - the kids will more than likely choose to be real Christians.  When they see dad and mom living out the Biblical commands to love the neighbor (who regularly beats up his live-in girlfriend and kid and steals your stuff if you don't lock it up) -taking him homemade cinnamin buns and calling the cops when lives are in danger and taking him more cinnamon buns, helping the single mom move for the ump-teenth time, feeding the cats and emptying the litterbox of the guy in jail for 5 months... all on their dime, stopping regularly to take the handicapped guy to the grocery, and dishing up an extra plate of food after potluck for the single man to take home, the dad and mom who apologize when they blow it, who aren't perfect but know that God is and loves them and will help them in every situation.  It's either real and working for you or it ain't!  If it ain't, then don't try to sell it to someone else.  Go "fix it" and see what supernatural things happen.

[Larry Lyons]

When the dad and mom are real Christians - the kids will more than likely choose to be real Christians.  When they see dad and mom living out the Biblical commands to love the neighbor (who regularly beats up his live-in girlfriend and kid and steals your stuff if you don't lock it up) -taking him homemade cinnamin buns and calling the cops when lives are in danger and taking him more cinnamon buns, helping the single mom move for the ump-teenth time, feeding the cats and emptying the litterbox of the guy in jail for 5 months... all on their dime, stopping regularly to take the handicapped guy to the grocery, and dishing up an extra plate of food after potluck for the single man to take home, the dad and mom who apologize when they blow it, who aren't perfect but know that God is and loves them and will help them in every situation.  It's either real and working for you or it ain't!  If it ain't, then don't try to sell it to someone else.  Go "fix it" and see what supernatural things happen.

Excellent counsel K7

[Tammy]

K7, I like the examples you gave and your idea that if you're not living it, then "don't try to sell it."

[Ed Sutton]

Go to PBS .org   and find out the principles they use to raise the champion Lipizzaner Stallions in Austria and combine  those principles with how SOP said EGW raised her kids.