Bringing Out the Files

[Richard OFfill]

A wife was tell me that every time they have a go around her husband 'brings out the files'. Is it possible to forgive and erase the 'files'?

[Raven]

In my office I have 2 filing cabinets.  One has current, high priority, files; the other has low priority, rarely used files.  I've even forgotten what is in some of those old files.

It should be like that with forgiveness.  We can't erase the files, but we can relegate them to the old filing cabinet that is very low priority.  There is an expression that I heard long ago, and which I think is relevant to personal relations:  "Don't sweat the small stuff."  Most of the things that we argue and dispute about aren't worth the bad feelings that develop because of them.  As for the bigger things--God says "My grace is sufficient for thee." 

If Jesus treated us like we treat some members of our own families we would all be lost.

[colporteur]

A wife was tell me that every time they have a go around her husband 'brings out the files'. Is it possible to forgive and erase the 'files'?

Erasing the files depends on what is in them.   For example, If it is sexual child abuse the file should not be erased.

[Richard OFfill]

It has been my observation that the things that break a marriage are not big items.

[colporteur]

It has been my observation that the things that break a marriage are not big items.

Don't you think it is a multitude of small things? Someone once coined the idea of a termite attack in bringing a house down.

[El]

A wife was tell me that every time they have a go around her husband 'brings out the files'. Is it possible to forgive and erase the 'files'?

Burn the files.  If you simply bury them they can easily be dug up.

[reaching4heaven]

A wife was tell me that every time they have a go around her husband 'brings out the files'. Is it possible to forgive and erase the 'files'?

I haven't figured out how to erase them quickly. It would be wonderful if the things we have forgiven were to never come to mind. However, since they do I would imagine it is a test to see if our former forgiveness of the matter was real.  I do know that when past issues come to mind God has given me the ability to keep my mouth shut or direct the conversation to something more productive. When we refuse to throw old wrongs in someones face they will eventually not come to mind.

It's also good to learn not to say "You always" or "You never"... unless it's "How wonderful! You always remember our anniversary!" 

[Deborah Risinger]

Wasn't there an old lady that once said  "I distinctly remember "forgeting that."

hhh eeheee...that is a "holy attitude" if there ever was one.

God's Blessings'
Deborah 

[Larry Lyons]

I recently heard in a sermon that Jesus forgave the Roman soldiers who were nailing him to the cross. The Roman soldiers were highly skilled in what they did. They could crucify a person in such a way that it could take days for them to die. They knew exactly what they were doing, and yet Jesus prayed "Forgive them Father for they know not what they do." Jesus was seeing things from a much broader perspective than the perspective of the Roman soldiers. He could forgive them knowing that they had no idea what they were really doing in crucifying the Son of God-the Savior.  The point is that in order to truly forgive  we need to learn to broaden our point of view or "re-frame" the old memories and see them in a broader perspective. If we don't learn how to forgive, we suffer, and all to often people around us suffer.
I know a dear lady who in her 80s who is a lifelong Adventist. Her favorite subject is her "first husband who ruined her life." She told me recently that she does not say anything in Sabbath School because her first husband told her to "keep her mouth shut." That was at least 60 years ago. She was only with him for 2 or 3 years and the man is long since dead, but her unresolved anger towards him still controls her.
That is such a tragedy!!