Revival Sermons

The Family => Overcoming Marriage Issues => Topic started by: resolute on July 20, 2012, 06:09:03 PM

Title: Why do they travel south?
Post by: resolute on July 20, 2012, 06:09:03 PM
Why do so many marriages go south? I mean on their wedding day and the years leading up to it, they would never think that it could come to such a sad state of affairs...no pun intended.
I've often thought that this occurs because one person stops liking the other person or both ways. Or maybe they never really liked the person and still went ahead and got married.
It seems in the old testament that people married first and dated after. So they liked each other and then loved after. I think that it's important to like the one you are going to choose to love the rest of your life. If you don't really like them then don't get married.

Do you think this is one valid reason why marriages go south? What other reasons do you have?
Title: Re: Why do they travel south?
Post by: newbie on July 20, 2012, 08:25:19 PM
Why do so many marriages go south? I mean on their wedding day and the years leading up to it, they would never think that it could come to such a sad state of affairs...no pun intended.
I've often thought that this occurs because one person stops liking the other person or both ways. Or maybe they never really liked the person and still went ahead and got married.
It seems in the old testament that people married first and dated after. So they liked each other and then loved after. I think that it's important to like the one you are going to choose to love the rest of your life. If you don't really like them then don't get married.

Do you think this is one valid reason why marriages go south? What other reasons do you have?
temptations of Satan are rampant as we are on the borders of Canaan once again...  things have been ratcheted up
Title: Re: Why do they travel south?
Post by: Raven on July 21, 2012, 03:00:24 AM
In the beginning of a relationship most people seem to do whatever they can to please the other person.  Marriages deteriorate when one party becomes self-centered and no longer seeks to please the other.  That can manifest itself in many ways, of course.  So, for Christians at least, a deterioration in one's relationship to Christ will lead to a deterioration in the marriage relationship.  Or so it seems to me.  After nearly 30 years, I think I know a little bit about married life.  :-D
Title: Re: Why do they travel south?
Post by: Jim on July 22, 2012, 11:24:41 AM
Why do so many marriages go south?

Selfishness.
Title: Re: Why do they travel south?
Post by: acarrollfan on September 05, 2012, 10:31:51 PM
Probably in the beginning of the relationship, each tries to bring out the best of themselves and pleases each other (in an unhealthy way).

When marriage comes, more ugly truths are revealed and they started to dislike each other more?

I guess it is not the matter whether or not marriage is going south.

It is the understanding of how married couples should learn to stay in a relationship.

Fairy tales are not about falling in love only. It is also about staying in love.  :-D
Title: Re: Why do they travel south?
Post by: Raven on September 06, 2012, 02:44:15 AM
The word "commitment" is becoming foreign to the marriage relationship.  When one has determined that they are committed to a marriage, then it becomes much more difficult for it to end.  Actually my wife and I hope to take our marriage south one of these days  :-o  :wink:  at least for part of the winter.  :-D

Welcome to the forum, acarrollfan.
Title: Re: Why do they travel south?
Post by: V. Hahn on September 06, 2012, 07:38:45 AM
Yes, welcome, acarrollfan!

I have heard the statement that says something to the effect that those in love should not gaze into each others' eyes, but look together in unity to common goals. 

If any of you know the statement in its correct form, please post it!  The way I said it doesn't sound nearly as profound as the original.
Title: Re: Why do they travel south?
Post by: Ed Sutton on September 07, 2012, 07:42:07 AM
Raven,
For you most any direction by highway, air, or sea IS SOUTH.    :-D

But you gotta admit, you do have the lock on wild blueberries and fiddleheads and moose in the garden. 
Title: Re: Why do they travel south?
Post by: newbie on September 07, 2012, 08:58:37 AM
Raven,
For you most any direction by highway, air, or sea IS SOUTH.    :-D

But you gotta admit, you do have the lock on wild blueberries and fiddleheads and moose in the garden. 
Raven lives on the N. Pole? :?
Title: Re: Why do they travel south?
Post by: Raven on September 07, 2012, 04:17:35 PM
Raven,
For you most any direction by highway, air, or sea IS SOUTH.    :-D

But you gotta admit, you do have the lock on wild blueberries and fiddleheads and moose in the garden. 

You got me there, Ed, but there's a lot of Canada between me and the North Pole.  :-D  At least I don't have to contend with bears in my neighborhood like Larry does--not yet, anyway.

By the way, it was a bumper crop of blueberries this year, but, due to the early spring, the fiddlehead season was a bit short.  The fall strawberries are coming in now.  They are the best.  All of which is way off topic.  :shh:

Newbie, sometimes northern Maine feels like the North Pole.  It's winter climate is similar to Anchorage.   :roll:
Title: Re: Why do they travel south?
Post by: newbie on September 08, 2012, 07:12:45 PM
Raven,
Our tomatoes have done really well this year and of course our herb garden too.  Seems even the drought did not harm them. 
Locally however, the drought has severely affected the corn and soybeans.
Title: Re: Why do they travel south?
Post by: Ed Sutton on September 10, 2012, 01:24:53 AM
Marriages mess up when the focus shifts to loving self instead of loving spouse, and finding out what spouse considers loving, marriages mess up when the work of marriage, family, earning a living, Church & mission get put in position to eclipse the marriage.  Self exaltaion like to grow lots of roots before it sends up shoots.
Title: Re: Why do they travel south?
Post by: V. Hahn on September 12, 2012, 11:35:35 AM
Yes, welcome, acarrollfan!

I have heard the statement that says something to the effect that those in love should not gaze into each others' eyes, but look together in unity to common goals. 

If any of you know the statement in its correct form, please post it!  The way I said it doesn't sound nearly as profound as the original.

I found the original quote in an article in the latest "Adventist World":  "To love is not to look at one another: it is to look, together, in the same direction." Antoine de Saint Exupery
Title: Re: Why do they travel south?
Post by: Ed Sutton on May 10, 2013, 10:05:49 PM
Linda & I are going to travel south right around July 20th ............................................. down around hot springs AR..................................... anyone know a nice but not expensive place we can celebrate "38" ? 
Title: Re: Why do they travel south?
Post by: newbie on May 12, 2013, 07:21:29 AM
congratulations Ed and Linda!!
Title: Re: Why do they travel south?
Post by: DaleInTN on June 08, 2013, 01:31:27 PM
It is possible that marriages travel south because the were not built on a the Rock.  My wife and I didn't start going to church til about 3 months after we got married.  Unfortunately, we did all the things the world tells us people in there mid 20's should do.  We lived together before marriage (which, if anyone reading this is not married, please don't do this.  It is a very hurtful thing for both of you to overcome.... DON'T DO IT!)

The focus should be on Jesus, and if it isn't.... don't get married!  It is very difficult to prioritize your life when you now have a spouse and children. 

my $.02
Title: Re: Why do they travel south?
Post by: newbie on June 08, 2013, 07:06:29 PM
great advice