Revival Sermons

The Family => The Role of the Father => Topic started by: Richard OFfill on June 25, 2009, 07:31:59 AM

Title: What Can Be Done?
Post by: Richard OFfill on June 25, 2009, 07:31:59 AM
What can be done to encourage men to be spiritual leaders? I spent a week end as a guest in the home of the head deacon. Every time we sat down to eat, it was the wife that offered the blessing. I wanted to say, "Hey, brother, where are you?"

What can a wife do about this? Men, why does our gender seem to be weak spiritually?
Title: Re: What Can Be Done?
Post by: newbie on June 25, 2009, 07:39:52 AM
What can be done to encourage men to be spiritual leaders? I spent a week end as a guest in the home of the head deacon. Every time we sat down to eat, it was the wife that offered the blessing. I wanted to say, "Hey, brother, where are you?"

What can a wife do about this? Men, why does our gender seem to be weak spiritually?

that part of the brain has to be developed as it does not come naturally any more
the spiritual side is not looked at as a strong trait by society... feelings, emotions, crying, are all 
       pushed  into the brain and covered up out of fear of being weak
very young boys are spiritual
Title: Re: What Can Be Done?
Post by: Raven on June 25, 2009, 02:29:27 PM
Could part of the problem be that radical feminism has brow beat many men into silence?  Maybe they don't assert themselves because they don't want to come across as "chauvinistic."

In our home I usually let my wife have the privilege of asking the bessing on the Sabbath meal.  One reason for this is that on most Sabbaths I'm up on the platform at church; some Sabbaths I lead the SS lesson study.  I often pray publicly several times at church; so it seems only right that someone else should have the privilege when we get home.  For family worship we take turns, one of us reading, the other praying.  Being a spiritual leader, whether at church or in the home, doesn't mean one has to monopolize the various duties and privileges.  It would be odd, however, if a man always deferred to his wife when it came time to pray.
Title: Re: What Can Be Done?
Post by: traveler on July 24, 2009, 11:17:29 PM
I find these questions funny in a discussion of leadership.  "What can be done to encourage men....?"  "What can a wife do?"

I have two, perhaps contradictory, perspectives.

1.  Leadership is like a string.  It must be pulled front the front and cannot be pushed from behind.  Men have to want it for it to happen.  There have been times when I refused to lead just to push back against somebody who was pushing me to lead.  Dysfunctional, but I really, really didn't want to give that person a victory by taking on leadership roles, even though I was not opposed to leading.

1a.  Who, besides Pastor OFfill, have you ever heard preach on the responsibilities of being a man and a husband?  I can't think of a single one.  Our culture doesn't read.  If we don't teach it, men will not know it.

2.  Whatever you want in your relationships, you have the opportunity to promote through your words and actions. 
*  Pray.  We seem to think of this as a powerless last resort.  It's not.  Prayer gives God permission to work in our families and in our relationships.
*  Do more of what works.  For instance, use encouraging statements and acknowledge whatever leadership is exhibited, praise it, and say, "I really appreciate...."  "I really enjoyed...."  "I feel cared for when...."  If is effective, if even in small ways, do it more.
*  Do less of what doesn't work.  Resist the temptation to nag.  If it makes him buck, back off and look for things that do work.
*  Be patient.  Watch for progress.  Journaling can help you notice progress that you may miss because it came over time.
*  Trust God with the results

My $0.03.
Title: Re: What Can Be Done?
Post by: wondering on July 25, 2009, 05:29:22 AM
1a.  Who, besides Pastor OFfill, have you ever heard preach on the responsibilities of being a man and a husband?  I can't think of a single one.  Our culture doesn't read.  If we don't teach it, men will not know it.

Dr. Samuel Pipim
Randy Skeete
David Asscherick
Walter Wright (deceased)
Nathan Renner
A couple others, but I can't quite think of the names right now :-D

I'm sure there are more teaching this than I've heard. I don't know if the sermons I've heard are listed there, but you can find sermons from most of these speakers at www.audioverse.org
Title: Re: What Can Be Done?
Post by: newbie on July 25, 2009, 02:57:08 PM
do we need an SDA branch of promise keepers?
Title: Re: What Can Be Done?
Post by: Deborah Risinger on July 26, 2009, 10:17:02 AM
perhaps....I say that with fear and trepidation...there are some women that already don't like me.

I think some women think that if men take their place ...... women have to take a place of total subservience as some "think" subservience is.

I think there are differing understandings of Gal 3:28 "that there is no difference between Jew and Gentile ,slaves and free people, men and women in Christ Jesus".....surely there are many conversations going on as to what the scripture might be saying or implying.  However, can we argue, that men and women have difference purposes?  I think we do...we also have some purposes that role into eachother.

 In Christ there is equality of salvation and usefulness in the work of the Lord....Christ's sacrifice for sin is offered to all.  There is a spiritual bond created by the Holy Spirit for "all...

It can be a difficult issue for all.  In the church I attend...there are alot of "strong willed women"...myself included...much to my dismay at times....... but, the men have taken the headship roles and us ladies appreciate it very much. They (the men) have not held us back from doing the work we think God has ask of us....I think we have found a place where the men "know" the headship is theirs.  Hopefully that is fostering what we consider a biblical pattern, and men will feel free to be nurtured into the forefront.

It is obvious "what" the absence of fatherhood has produced in society...it is heartbreaking

God's Blessings'
Deborah  :-)
Title: Re: What Can Be Done?
Post by: CONCRETE on July 27, 2009, 07:44:33 AM
I think the church can create an environment that can help men become leaders. Sometimes a church lacks a masculine context or male friendly environment. My wife, a psychologist, shared this statistic with me: there are significantly more women in church then men. She believes it is because church, religion, etc. tends to be more feminine and relationally oriented, of which women excel at. If we want our men to become effective leaders we must create an environment that allows men to feel safe and at home at church. Just because men do many things, that doesn't mean they are effective leaders. This is where having an effective men's ministry comes into play.

The purpose of a mens ministry is to create a framework of vital relationships among men, within a distinctly masculine context, that will intentionally reconcile men to God and to eachother. Through these relationships, men will be able to minister to the needs of the body of Christ and the community, under the authority and direction of the Word of God and the leaders of the local church (Effective Men's Ministry, pg. 26).

I would encourage all men to read the book quoted!
Title: Re: What Can Be Done?
Post by: newbie on July 27, 2009, 08:39:05 AM
my experience is that men are good  goal setters and continue to press forward to the mark.....
         they are the rule setters for the family and church
         tend to be less moved by attacks ... but then there are exceptions
the women tend to soften the journey
         bring gifts of communication

together it can be a wonderful ministry

one partial reason possibly for the lack of men in the church:
it is harder for men to accept a higher power and submit to it because all their lives they have been trained to be the higher power... 

Oh, I expect responses.  :-)  or maybe encouraging additions? 
Title: Re: What Can Be Done?
Post by: wondering on July 27, 2009, 02:39:45 PM
I think the church can create an environment that can help men become leaders. Sometimes a church lacks a masculine context or male friendly environment. My wife, a psychologist, shared this statistic with me: there are significantly more women in church then men. She believes it is because church, religion, etc. tends to be more feminine and relationally oriented, of which women excel at. If we want our men to become effective leaders we must create an environment that allows men to feel safe and at home at church. Just because men do many things, that doesn't mean they are effective leaders. This is where having an effective men's ministry comes into play.

I agree. So often the language used to communicate the gospel in church is feminine (I don't mean that in a derogatory way). It seems to be getting more prevalent too. I think some of the post-modern movements can take a lot of the blame/credit for that too since they like to focus on emotion so heavily.
Title: Re: What Can Be Done?
Post by: Deborah Risinger on July 27, 2009, 03:53:42 PM
It has been the experience in the church I attend...if certain language is not used....if a certain "tone" is not created to the liking of certain members...life can be rather taxing.  We had a pastor accused of sexual abuse...to the shock of those who knew about it.  I asked the woman who made the charge about it...her answer was...."it was the way he made me feel"  This man did not touch her, approach her, make a pass at her...I asked her....it was all about the way she felt...can you imagine..to accuse a man of such a thing over that??? 

I must say....I am a woman who has been abused....some men are mean....but, over the years I have seen women use terrible false accusations because of feminism...this has hurt us terrible. It has minimized the demoralization of women who have truly suffered under the hands of men. :-(

  :-(

I realize this is a human problem...I am not sure it will be solved "ever"  ..until eternity.

It seems to me, Truth at times can be hard to swallow...as well as Truth at times brings much comfort.  If we keep pressing to "hear" only the "way" we want to hear....I would say...we will eventually lose Truth to ourselves..and are creating a "hearing problem for ourselves."

Can we call a "spade a spade" and not make spades out of diamonds??



Men in the church and the USA have really taken some blows...some are legitimate and some are not......

This is the work of the devil...I hope we will cooperate with Christ and "not" with demonic forces.


God Keep Us All
Deborah
Title: Re: What Can Be Done?
Post by: Larry Lyons on July 27, 2009, 05:25:35 PM
It has been the experience in the church I attend...if certain language is not used....if a certain "tone" is not created to the liking of certain members...life can be rather taxing.  We had a pastor accused of sexual abuse...to the shock of those who knew about it.  I asked the woman who made the charge about it...her answer was...."it was the way he made me feel"  This man did not touch her, approach her, make a pass at her...I asked her....it was all about the way she felt...can you imagine..to accuse a man of such a thing over that??? 

I must say....I am a woman who has been abused....some men are mean....but, over the years I have seen women use terrible false accusations because of feminism...this has hurt us terrible. It has minimized the demoralization of women who have truly suffered under the hands of men. :-(

  :-(

I realize this is a human problem...I am not sure it will be solved "ever"  ..until eternity.

It seems to me, Truth at times can be hard to swallow...as well as Truth at times brings much comfort.  If we keep pressing to "hear" only the "way" we want to hear....I would say...we will eventually lose Truth to ourselves..and are creating a "hearing problem for ourselves."

Can we call a "spade a spade" and not make spades out of diamonds??



Men in the church and the USA have really taken some blows...some are legitimate and some are not......

This is the work of the devil...I hope we will cooperate with Christ and "not" with demonic forces.


God Keep Us All
Deborah

Excellent points Deborah. There also seems to be an increasing pressure in the culture at large that frowns on and even punishes any attempt to maintain or validate male and female role differences. There has even been serious debate in the military over whether women belong in combat units filling the same roles as men.
Title: Re: What Can Be Done?
Post by: Richard Holbrook on July 27, 2009, 06:00:24 PM
I'm sure there are more teaching this than I've heard. I don't know if the sermons I've heard are listed there, but you can find sermons from most of these speakers at www.audioverse.org

Hey wondering, Thanks for the link. That's a good one.
Title: Re: What Can Be Done?
Post by: wondering on July 27, 2009, 07:43:29 PM
No problem, it is one of my favorite resources :-)
Title: Re: What Can Be Done?
Post by: Richard Holbrook on July 27, 2009, 07:51:11 PM
No problem, it is one of my favorite resources :-)

Here's one for you.    http://delongdirect.com/sermons/SERMONS/
Title: Re: What Can Be Done?
Post by: Deborah Risinger on July 28, 2009, 07:06:56 PM
thanks! Great site Richard................

God's Blessings'
Deborah  :lol:
Title: Re: What Can Be Done?
Post by: wondering on July 29, 2009, 04:22:01 AM
Here's one for you.    http://delongdirect.com/sermons/SERMONS/

Wow - another good one, thanks!
Title: Re: What Can Be Done?
Post by: Ed Sutton on November 02, 2009, 07:22:05 PM
When it is discovered a wasp is loose in a car full of people, what is done to the wasp ?  It depends upon the courage and clout to the driver and passangers.  If the driver doesn't care and the car is full of 6 month old babies, the babies get stung over and over and the driver tools on down the boulevard with the ipod drownding out the noise while he styles on.

If the driver intends to protect the babies, the driver deals with the wasp - ranging from opening the window to release the wasp, to pulling over and nutralizing the wasp. 

Falsely accusing someone of sexual crimes, carries civil penalties.   A Church business meeting needs to deal with the issue, and not a lone individual.  Once an innocent party in the pair is identified then the guilty party is found, then the issues can be got to the bottom of, and the guilty party asked frank and pointed questions.

Then their answers dealt with by the Church vote, as far Church membership goes.  If the woman is guilty it sounds like she needs both mental help and investigation to see if her membership needs to be removed.   if she is not guilty of wrong, then the focus is on the pastor and swift through action taken.

A pastor being held to higher standard would be dealt with in a much stronger fashion.